Breaking and Broken
by twilightnite
Summary: /I made a promise, and I broke it. She gave me her heart, and I broke it. Is there anything I can’t break? What kind of monster am I?/ Edward’s PoV. Set in Mexico during New Moon. -Oneshot...?-


**A quick one-shot from Edward's point of view after he left Bella in New Moon. He's in Mexico. Note the Spanish in it. Anything like: (((-**_**With words here**_**-))) is a translation. And yea, I know Edward doesn't have a voice in his head. Just accept the fat that he does in the story! Hope you like it! Review! No Flames please!**

_I made a promise, and I broke it. She gave me her heart, and I broke it. What kind of monster am I?. Is there anything I can't break?_

_Drip._

I opened my eyes, hoping this was only a painful, heartbreaking nightmare. I couldn't make it through another day of this torture.

_Drip._

I snarled and turned my head, finding the cause of the annoying noise. A leaking rusty faucet sat under the flickering glow of the florescent light. The only noise besides the faucet was the irritating buzz coming from the lights. I snarled and curled my hands into fists. I shook my head in fury and gazed at my reflection in the cracked mirror. I barely looked any different. The only noticeable changes were the heavy purplish bags under my eyes. _If only they could see my cold and broken heart._

I raised my fist and punched the mirror with all of my might. I watched the shattered glass hit the grimy tiled floor with a _plink_. Seething, I brought my head back up to look at the damage I caused. The mirror had a gaping hole in the center, the concrete behind it cracked. Small fragments of the shattered glass remained. To my left the door creaked open, my eyes flickered over toward the slowly opening door. I growled and dashed out the door, bumping into a middle-aged man who grunted and staggered backwards. His face contorted in anger as he righted himself, ignoring multiple snickers from around him. He glared at the people around him and continued on his 'merry way'.

I finally made my way out the front door, not before hearing his outraged shouts. I take it someone finally found out about my little episode.

_Like I really care._

Like anyone would care. Like I would care any more. Like I would care about anyone besides her. _Bella._

I immediately shook my head to clear away those thoughts. It didn't help. Not one bit. It brought back the memories of sitting with my family in our old house in Forks. When I had told them my thoughts of leaving, most of them had rejected the very thought. Carlisle hadn't looked all that happy about it. Most of his thoughts had been centered around the tenacious task uprooting us again and the pain of departing from Forks. Esme had reluctantly gone along with her husband; it had been obvious she greatly detested the idea of leaving Bella. Rosalie seemed all too happy to abandon Bella; her jealousy had grown tremendously ever since the incident with the tracker last spring.

Subconsciously I growled out loud, startling a pair of two teenagers because trying to hide behind a bush. I scoffed. The girls' thoughts were ranked one of my top ten most annoying thoughts of the day. I resisted the urge to snap her arm.

'_¡Ese muchacho es caliente¡Qué no daría para hacer-hacia fuera con él! Me pregunto si él es solo…'_

**((('**_That boy is hot! What I wouldn't give to make-out with him! I wonder if he's single..'._

If I could, I would have gagged myself. Thoughts like those are all too common among the female population of any place I go. It's irritating. I wandered aimlessly for the next few hours, the afternoon sun had slowly slide behind the mountains in the distance. I stopped and looked at the view before me.

"Twilight," I murmured a smile spread across my face as I watched the sun fade into nothing. The sky ablaze with colors when I froze, hearing her _voice. _Our voices to be exact. At last years prom.

------

"_Twilight again," I was staring at the moon before us. "Another ending. No matter how perfect the day is, it always has to end." _

"_Some things don't have to end."_

_-------_

The sun fully set behind the mountains, the darkness growing. I shook my head again and began to walk. I passed by an open window, music flowing out of it.

'_With or without you  
I can't live,  
With or without you'_

This band had no idea how right they were. I thought I could live without Bella, but I had been wrong. I thought that's what I wanted, what she would have wanted. I can live though, if that's what you call this. These eternal and never ending nights.

It wasn't fair.

_Hasn't anyone told you? Life isn't fair._

It was right, the little voice in my head, telling me what's what. Why can't it tell me the difference between what I want and what I need? What's right and what's wrong?

_That's for you to decide. You want Bella, you need Bella. It was right to leave Bella. But at the same time, it was wrong._

I snorted and kicked a stone out of my way.

She's probably moved on by now, just like any normal teenage girl would after a break-up.

_You don't know that. You broke her heart. You could see it in her eyes. She believed you. You promised her-_

Promised her?

_You promised her you'd always love her. You may not have said it out loud but it was evident in your words and actions. _

But still, she's moved on like any normal teenage girl.

_But she wasn't a normal teenage girl. She was different. She loved you for who you are. How could she move on at the drop of a hat?_

I shook my head again. This voice reminded me so much of Carlisle, my father. Was I really hurting my family like I was hurting Bella? Was I hurting them equally? Or was I hurting one more than the other?

_Both. Your family loves you, but you won't see it that way. You act like they're ashamed of you._

They are.

_No, they're not. They love you Edward. And so does Bella. With all of her broken heart. Don't you see that?_

Stop. Now. I don't want to hear anymore about how I hurt Bella or my family. Or about how I hurt anybody. This is my life. My undead, now meaningless life.

The voice in my head stopped speaking entirely, leaving me alone with my thoughts. After another hour of worthless wandering, my thoughts became clearer.

I loved Bella. With all my being. My heart, soul and mind. I loved her. And I would never stop. Even is she hated me, I would always love Bella. Always. I would always love Bella.

With a new piece of mind I headed back to the small and cramped attic that I called my temporary home. My own little corner of hell.

The whole night, as I sat in the attic, those words repeated over and over in my head.

_I would always love Bella._

I leaned my head back against a wall. I sat there for gods knows how long. I wanted and needed Bella. No matter what happened, I needed her. If there's no her, then there is no me.

That's when my phone rang.

That's when time stopped.

That's when my corner of hell grew in size.

That's when my life lost meaning.

_Because my angel was dead._

**So what'd you think? I know it was a long one-shot, but I felt like writing it. If you do review, No Flames please! I don't feel like having someone say 'this story sucks' or something. If you don't like it, just don't review or read it. Again, I know Edward doesn't have a voice in his head, I just used it for this story. If you're confused, the ending is the phone call from Rosalie. You can read that chapter at Stephenie Meyer's website.**

**Thanks for reading!**

**Kate**


End file.
